Happiness

Well, this week has been quite crazy. I was tired from the rush of the week, so last night I went to bed early instead of writing my blog post. As I said on November 5th when I started this challange (4 days late), I probably won't be able to blog every day. So, here is the post I would have written yesterday.

The prompt for today is "What has been the happiest moment of your life thus far?"



This is me and my son. He and his daddy are the loves of my life. I can't say that the moment he came into the world was the happiest time of my life - to be completely honest I was just relieved that the pain had stopped and he was healthy and crying. But a few moment later when they placed him on my chest was the happiest moment. (for full disclosure sake I must confess that this picture was taken the next day. No one snapped a picture of us right after his birth, not that I really minded)


I wanted to be a mother most of my life. I've wanted kids way longer than I wanted to be a veterinarian. When I was a kid I'd pray and ask God to make my dolls come to life so I could have babies of my own. I took the Red Cross babysitting course at age 12, and started sitting for friends' and neighbors' kids when I turned 13. I helped my mom change my youngest brother's diapers (back when we used cloth diapers with real pins) and I helped feed him in his high chair. I worked the nursery at church growing up, at college, and after we got married. I just loved being around kids.

So, in June of 2008 when we found out we were pregnant, after just over a year of trying, I was thrilled. A little scared, but thrilled. It was actually kind of unexpected. We had been having trouble, my hormones weren't doing what the doctors expected, and we were about to explore fertility treatments. The month before I had some tests done at the fertility specialist, and the following month we were going in to discuss our options. It seems the tests may have opened up a blockage of some kind, and that had allowed us to conceive.

An so, in February 2009 we had a little boy. And it was love at first site. And the little boy grew (and grew, and grew). And he got me up every night for months (actually years). And he spit up on me, peed on me, and got poop on me, but I still loved him. Eventually he turned 18 months old and started the terrible twos (why not start early?), but I still loved him. Now he's a big boy, who sometimes has temper issues, but somehow always gets a smile from me in the end.

So here's some pictures of me and baby boy through the years:

Wordless Wednesday

Ah, the beach....

The Beach

I love the Beach

I love the smell of sunscreen

the sound of the waves and the wind and the seagulls

the feel of the sun on my skin and the sand in between my toes

the taste of salt water on my lips

the sight of the water, the sand, the sun, and my family

At any time I can close my eyes, drown out the world around me, and transport myself to the beach

I can hear the sounds, feel the sensations

This is my happy place

Sunday Musings

Today's lesson at church was on God's omniscience. He knows everything - everything that ever happened in the past, everything that is happening right now, and everything that will happen in the future. He also knows what would have happened if we made different choices in the past, as well as what could happen depending on what choices we are making now and those we will make in the future.

So, some people ask, why bother? If God knows what will happen, why bother making decisions? Does it even matter?

Yes.

It matters because God wants it that way. He wants us to have responsibility over the choices we make. Otherwise Adam and Eve wouldn't have had a choice. God didn't have to plant the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. He didn't have to give them a choice. If he wanted humans to blindly do His will it would have been easy to leave that tree out.

But He didn't. He gave them a choice. Yes, they chose wrong, and there were consequences for that bad choice. Big ones, huge ones, changing the course of humanity ones - but that's another lesson.

So, back to the main point, we have a choice. We have a responsibility to take our decisions seriously and deal with the consequences. God knows what we will do. He knows what choices we will make. But they're our choices. His omniscience does not supersede our responsibility.

I can relate to this in a small way as a wife and mother. I can predict the behavior of my husband and son. I know when they're about to make a decision, be it good or bad. Many times I know (because I know them so well) what their decision will be, and I can predict what will happen because of that decision. I know that when my husband eats the last few wings "just because I'd hate to waste them" that he will have overdone it and feel bad the next few hours. I know that when my son is eating and waving his food down below his tray where the dog is (even though I've sent the dog to the living room 10 times already) eventually the dog will take that yummy treat and my son will be upset. I know these things, but that doesn't change the fact that my husband is responsible for his overstuffed stomach and my son is responsible for his lost snack. And that doesn't even come close to how all-knowing God is about our choices.

So God knows everything. How does that apply to everyday life? Sometimes we humans get frustrated when we don't know what's happening. We don't see the big picture, we're not in on the big plan. But we shouldn't give up. We may not see God's plan while it's in action, but He does. When we don't understand the methods, we can still trust the intentions and believe that the outcome will be godly. Even when we mess up, He knows. He knew ahead of time that we'd do that. But we can't mess His plan up. Sure, we can make decisions that He's not pleased with, but since He knew ahead of time what we'd do He already made allowances for it. And when we see the error of our ways and come back to Him, we can get back on track and still be part of the plan.

Case in point, the apostle Peter. He was one of Jesus' chosen men. He worked side by side with Him during his ministry. He said he'd follow Jesus into jail and even death. But God knew. The gospels tell how Jesus told him that he'd deny even knowing Him 3 times leading to His death. And he was right. Peter fled when Jesus was arrested (after cutting off someone's ear). He hid around the fires during the trial. When people recognized him and called him out he denied it, 3 times. But God's plan went on without him. And after Jesus rose Peter went back to His side and was able to be one of the most instrumental tools in the new church. But I'm sure he never forgot what it felt like to deny Jesus. To realize that he was a coward and did exactly what he swore he'd never do. He had to live with that consequence, but it didn't wind up defining his life, because he went and got back on track with the plan.

Our choices effect us and our relationship with God. Since He knows ahead of time what our choices will be, we aren't actually altering His plan, just our participation in it. He lets us fail, so we can learn. So, we need to learn from our mistakes. Listen when we think God's warning us - His warnings don't come from guesswork or bad information. He knows the outcome. He wants us to be part of the plan, for our own good.

I hate daylight savings

I do. I hate daylight savings.

I didn't used to. Oh, I was annoyed in the spring when I lost an hour, but I loved the falling back and gaining an hour. Then I had my son.

Now I hate it.

People without kids don't realize what it does to those who do. Our "gain an hour, lose a hour" is backwards. Little kids can't tell time. They don't understand an extra hour of sleep. They wake up when they wake up, regardless of what numbers are on the clock.

The past 2 years we've been able to manage the change with few problems. For the week before the time change I've adjusted bedtime slowly to make the transition as smooth as possible. The past 2 years it worked pretty well.

This year it did not. At all.

See, the main problem was that Tommy had surgery to redo the tubes in his ears the Thursday before. We left the house at 5:30am. He didn't nap all morning or afternoon after we got home. He then fell asleep in the car on the way to pick up Daddy at 4:30. He didn't wake up (not to say I didn't try). Even through a diaper change and changing him into his PJs, he slept on. He slept all night long and didn't wake up until about 6:30 the next morning. So, no adjusting the bedtime that night.

The next problem was Saturday night, the night daylight savings ended. We were at his grandmother's house for the day, and loaded up to drive home about 6pm, which is 2 hours before his regular bedtime. I figured we'd keep him up till about 9, then he could go to bed and sleep his regular 11 hours and get up at a decent time.

No deal. He fell asleep on the way home. And again, he didn't wake up. I sat him up in the living room with the TV on and the lights blaring - nothing. I talked to him and asked if he wanted dinner - nothing. I changed his diaper and put his PJs on - I got "mmmm, night-night, Mommy."

And then he woke up at 5am. Which was now 4am. In his defense, he slept for his normal 11 hours. He didn't know Mommy and Daddy were entitled to an extra hour of sleep. He said it was time to get up and watch Little Einsteins. Nothing I said could change his mind. So, he got up, and we turned on the TV. What else is there to do at 4:30am? There wasn't actually anything for him to watch on Disney or PBS, so we went to the DVR. Which meant that every 25 minutes we had to get back out of bed and start a new episode. I tried to get him to watch a DVD, which would give us some rest, but he insisted on Little Einsteins, and at that hour I didn't have enough brain cells working to try to win an argument with a 2 year old.

So, flash forward to today. Daylight savings has been gone for 6 days. He should be adjusted. We've moved his bedtime back an hour. He should be getting up when I want him to get up. Nope. He's getting up an hour earlier. Still. Which means that Mommy has to get up 30 min earlier, and I have no "alone" time in the morning anymore. Not a good thing.

So, tomorrow starts another week. I tried to keep him up late tonight like I did last night. Instead, since he refuses to take naps at home anymore, he fell asleep at 7, instead of 9 like I wanted. Since I know that trying to wake him won't do any good, I put him to bed.

I guess instead of perusing the other NaBloPoMo blog posts I should sign off and go to bed early myself.

Stupid Daylight Savings.